I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize