I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize