We won't sleep together?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
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she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
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We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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