Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize