So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
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this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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