her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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