believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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