Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize