she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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