have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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