My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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