i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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