So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
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I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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