The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
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I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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