He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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