Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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