I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
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my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
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I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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