this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
did you just send me my own nude
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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