If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize