I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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