my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
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You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
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Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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