never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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