Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize