and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
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I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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