my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize