Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
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There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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