and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
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the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
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1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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