that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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