It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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