They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize