please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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