Just fell off a train. Bad.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
She made me pour olive oil on her.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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