i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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