Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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