is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize