Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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