fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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