This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
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I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
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Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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