Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
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I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
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Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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