OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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