so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize