We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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