discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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