I just cut my nipple shaving
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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