remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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