Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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