Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize