My room smells like vodka and shame
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize