take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize