i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize